Anyone said Singaporean English was hard? Tell them compare it with Cambridge's!
#1. WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Singaporeans: Paiseh, bo stock liao.
#2. RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is Zack. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Singaporeans: Oi, you call me ah?
#3. ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Singaporeans: Siam.
#4. WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Singaporeans:I pay.
#5. WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Singaporeans: [pointing the door] Can mah?
#6. WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Singaporeans: Dun shy lah!
#7. WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Singaporeans: Have meh?
#8. WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Singaporeans: Dowan la.
#9. IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Singaporeans: You siao ah?
#10. WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Singaporeans: Diam.
#11. WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do I know you?
Singaporeans: Kua simi kua? Le tolo bui song?
#12. WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Singaporeans: Mati liao.
#13. WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Singaporeans: Eh,what happened ah?
#14. WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you.
Singaporeans: Noob la, like that also dunno how to do.
#15. WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me.
Singaporeans: Fuck off la.
#16. WHEN PUSHING BLAME
Britons: Hey. Don't accuse me like that. Its very rude to accuse someone of doing something wrong when you don't have supporting evidence or an alibi so please get things straight thank you very much.
Singaporeans: Walao eh! Everything me la!
#17. WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO DO SOMETHING BUT THEY DECLINE
Britons: Have you no guts or are you just plain scared?
Singaporeans: Hum?
#18. WHEN SOMEONE TAKES YOU AS A PUSHOVER
Britons: Hey, excuse me, but I'm no pushover and I'll stand up for my rights, dignity and pride if any of them I feel are threatened by you.
Singaporeans: You think you so big izzit?
#19. WHEN SOMEONE OFFENDS YOU
Britons: I don't wish to fight or anything. How about we sit down and have a nice little chat over what is bothering us.
Singaporeans: Go toilet settle.
#20. WHEN CALLING OUT TO SOMEONE
Britons: Hey, could you lend me your attention for a little while.
Singaporeans: OI!
#21. WHEN BORED
Britons: Man... I'm so bored today I could rot just by sitting here.
Singaporeans: Sian.
